


Then Everything Changed

by autumnlucy



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: F/M, Motherhood, Postpartum Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-05
Updated: 2019-03-05
Packaged: 2019-11-12 12:39:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18011066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/autumnlucy/pseuds/autumnlucy
Summary: People warn you that motherhood is hard. Even if you believe them, you can never be fully prepared. Espeically when you are too scared tell anyone that you really aren't alright





	Then Everything Changed

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Haven't heard from me in a while, have you all? Its been a very big year for my husband and I. And trust me when this story will explain most of it. I stopped writing around this time last year due to me packing with my husband for our new apartment. Its been so hectic that I haven't even finished Season 2 yet. Anyway, this is a very short chapter to explain myself. What? How can this be a chapter to explain why i left, and a new fanfic? Well you see, its my story. 
> 
> I had a baby in December. A beautiful little boy named Jesse. I love my soon, but I have sadly had a rough go. I have been diagnosed with depression related to my birthing experience and my growth as a new mom. I have had a lot of people asking me why i haven't updated or shared anything new, and the pregnancy was hell. Very rough and hard on me physically and mentally. So basically, while trying to get back into writing, i decided to share with you why i haven't been around. Don't expect regular updates, because with motherhood, comes no time to even use the bathroom. This itself has taken ten weeks to write. Yup. Ten weeks. But I do hope you will all enjoy at least what I have to say about my experiences with my baby so far. Please note, there will be Out of Character writing..because again, its my story, but I will do my best.
> 
> Thanks guys!

Prologue

 

Isolating.

That would be how Marinette wold describe her new role as a mother. Not exactly what she would have told you a week earlier when her and her husband, Adrien had brought home their son, Jean, from the hospital. She hadn't expected really anything bout her experience thus-far to come to pass if she was honest. Sure, the love was there for her child that she had as she carried him for nearly nine months, but it still wasn't what they told you. 

She wasn't overcome with the love that was supposed to come over you like a wave. There was never this powerful need to protect her son; not not first anyway. There was the guilt thought. And perhaps a little bit of jealousy when she saw Adrien's expression when he saw Jean for the first time. He had the look of someone who had fallen in love at first sight, and she could tell how much he loved their son. Whenever Adrien held Jean, he was just smiles. 

Marinette had no words she could express out loud for what she felt. Not even to her dear husband. She was just ashamed. He was feeling everything he felt before becoming a father and more. She felt like there was only something wrong with her. Whenever she saw pictures of her and Jean, she felt like it was just all lies. Just all lies. 

She was no mother. She may have given birth to her son, but she couldn't be his mother. Every time he looked up at her expectantly or his eyes watched and followed her, she just felt scared. Scared of him, herself or the unknown. She still didn't know. It was just as mysterious as why she ever thought she knew anything at all about being a mother. Nothing could have prepared her. No one could have. It just could never be the same. And as she glanced up at her husband Adrien who was tucking their sleeping infant into his bassinet, there was only one thing that crossed her mind. 

She was alone. She couldn't speak to him, or her parents. Alya or anyone else either. These feelings were her own. She couldn't calm her son like Adrien could. She didn't have the confidence that her husband did and she was scared every time he left for a modelling job or a nightly patrol. Her heart raced when he transformed into Chat Noir, and left her with a quick kiss and a 'I Love you'. 

He didn't know. If he did, perhaps he would stay and not leave her alone with Jean. Something she feared more than anything else. He gave her one last glance and a smile before he jumped out of the window, out of sight.  
Once again, she was alone.  
But not alone.  
It was her and her son.  
But she might as well have been alone.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: So yeah, this is quick,and I'm sure its a mess. It feels like a mess to me, but I have very little time anymore to just sneak in a really good creative writing session to smooth it out. But since a few have been messaging me over the last year to see why I stopped writing, its not because I wanted to quit. I just haven't been up to the task.
> 
> So I will update. At some point, i just need to kinda focus on my mental health right now. And before anyone asks, I am getting mental health help. I have a support system, and I am learning how to balance everything. 
> 
> Until next time!


End file.
